To The One That Got Away
This is how I will always remember you.
You had this Korean/Japanese looking and when I first met you I didn’t think you were local until I spoke to you in English asking where you were from and you replied to me in Bahasa. You had this slightly longer and curly hair with your flannel shirt tied around your waist. I don’t know why but I’ve always liked guys with flannel shirts. I was intrigued and somehow you looked pretty mysterious to me. You didn’t talk much but friendly enough to make a decent conversation. I was already attracted to you.
The next day we met again and we hung out together with our mutual friends. My friend asked your friend if you had a girlfriend and to my disappointment you did. But I didn’t expect anything as it was just a simple crush. After that, we all went to hang out at your place. I saw your guitar so I played it and I saw your book on your table so I took it to see what it was about. You probably didn’t want me to feel left out since I didn’t talk much and I was a guest in your house, so you tried to talk to me about the book.
We were hanging out in your living room and all of a sudden you handed me your phone asking for my number. I was a little bit confused because if you really had a girlfriend, you wouldn’t have casually asked for my number in front of everybody. I happily gave it to you anyway because I liked you and I thought you probably just enjoyed talking to me and wanted us to be friends.
You didn’t text me that often, but I tried so hard not to text you first because it would seem so wrong to text someone who wasn’t available. We started hanging out more often every weekend with the rest of the clan. As we lived nearby, you always sent me home first before walking back to your place. I think that’s how we got closer. There was something about you that made me so nervous every time you texted me. I remember every Friday night you always texted me asking if I had any plans. I swear every time your name popped up on my notification, my heartbeat stopped for a few seconds.
We spent more and more time together on the weekend. Sometimes it was just the two of us but it was nothing romantic and very platonic. I don’t know why I felt pretty intimidated by you. You gave me these mixed signals and I kept questioning myself if you really had feelings for me or you just simply enjoyed my company. Either way, I was always happy to see you since I needed a distraction from the heartbreak I just had.
I really liked the way you took care of the people around you when they had too many drinks and obviously I was one of them. You had always been very matured and since you didn’t drink at all. Every time I was drunk, somehow you were always there to make sure I was okay and got home safely.
The night you told me you had a brain tumor, it really broke my heart. I really wanted to be there for you but I knew that you had a lot of people who loved you and would always be there to support you. I really hoped you didn’t have to go through that.
We met again after you had your surgery done. I was so happy to see you again. You lost a lot of weight but you still looked good. You had always been so strong even after what you went through.
I remember there was one night which I thought was very special to me. I just had a fight with my friend and I was so angry that you tried to comfort me. I didn’t wanna be alone so I asked you to come to my place. We ended up talking all night and we confessed how we used to feel for each other. It meant a lot to me and I was glad that our feelings were mutual. Nonetheless, we decided to stay friends and I genuinely feel that decision was the best for both of us.
We drifted apart as we moved on with our lives. Although we were not close anymore, this is how I will always remember you. Someone who was so gentle, unique, charming, and kind. I’m glad that you were surrounded by people who loved you and were always there for you until your last breath. Goodbye, Perry. You will be forever missed.
DISCLAIMER: What I had with Perry was only a brief moment that happened a long way back. This story doesn’t imply anything about how he thought of me but it’s more about how special he was to me back then.
